A Relatable Explanation of Depression
I, the writer of this blog post suffer from depression. Sometimes I feel alone in my feelings. I found a couple of descriptions from other sufferers that really hit home for me. Hopefully as you read you feel less alone. Sometimes it helps me when I am feeling really down -Esther T
"For me, it is the feeling like you want to go home when you're already there" - Dan
Having depression is like owning a very large, powerful dog. Have you ever taken a large dog for a walk? It's more like it walks you. Anything that catches the attention of the dog causes you to get dragged along with it. Bad memories and negative thoughts pop up in the your brain like rabbits and squirrels, and your dog (depression) goes chasing after them. It tries to take you where it wants to go, and most days you just don't have the strength to keep from letting it happen.
Most people don't have that strength. But most people have normal sized dogs. You have a normal-sized amount of strength with a very large dog. The size of the dog and not being able to control it isn't your fault.
Not having depression means that YOU walk the dog. It's still there. Your bad memories and dark thoughts don't disappear. They just don't crowd out all the other thoughts that occupy your head. And when they go too far, you just yank the leash and say "No, we're not going there today." - A Reddit User
(from Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness):
That the word "indescribable" should present itself is not fortuitous, since it has to be emphasized that if the pain were readily describable most of the countless sufferers from this ancient affliction would have been able to confidently depict for their friends and loved ones (even their physicians) some of the actual dimensions of their torment, and perhaps elicit a comprehension that has been generally lacking; such incomprehension has usually been due not to a failure of sympathy but to the basic inability of healthy people to imagine a form of torment so alien to everyday experience. For myself, the pain is most closely connected to drowning or suffocation--but even these images are off the mark. William James, who battled depression for many years, gave up the search for an adequate portrayal, implying its near-impossibility when he wrote in The Varieties of Religious Experience: "It is a positive and active anguish, a sort of psychical neuralgia wholly unknown to normal life."
You know that feeling of disappointment that you get when you try really hard to win at something, but then you lose? Now, imagine feeling that way, 24 hours a day, for weeks at a time. Welcome to my world- Andrew F
It’s like I died at 15, but my body just kept on living.-Sufferer of depression
"How do you tell someone... I'm not ignoring you right now. I'm just disconnected from reality right now, the days are all blurred together, and I feel completely numb towards everything around me. So it's really hard for me to maintain a conversation."
Side note from me, the writer.
Sometimes it is hard for me to even pick up the phone and talk. I get nervous and mad at myself that I cant do this one simple thing. If this is you and you want help, you can email or even text the office to see if it is a good fit for you. You are not alone, and you do not have to feel this way anymore. Depression does not go away, but we can find ways to manage it together. -Esther Tell